School shooting. Suicide. Despair. Grief. There is no relief. There is no beginning; no end. Logic has no voice here. Solutions refuse to redeem themselves in shiny reflections of hope and progress. Existing is the only way to survive. Living is intolerable to death.
I Am!
BY JOHN CLARE
I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes—
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I loved the best
Are strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky.
I Am (John Clare) by Jessica Lucci
I am here, but nobody wants to know the real me
My family rips my photos out of albums
I survive on my own pain
My myriad griefs are living entities which in turn feed on me
Like candles at a lovers' banquet
Still, in the morning, I devour the ashes
Towards anonymous whispers and gossip
Towards the breathing clouds of nightmares
Here there is no future or hope
Just fallen stars without wishes
Among the loves of my life
I cease to exist
Only in the wildest earth can I live
Bare of footprints or voices
Alone, with all who know me; no one
Daring to dream
As an ignorant animalistic soul
Oceans and skies encompass me
I Am
BY NEIL DIAMOND
L.A.'s fine, the sun shines most the time
And the feeling is "lay back"
Palm trees grow and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin' about
Making my way back
Well I'm New York City born and raised
But nowadays
I'm lost between two shores
L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home
New York's home
But it ain't mine no more
"I am"... I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am"... I cried
"I am"... said I
And I am lost and I can't
Even say why
Leavin' me lonely still
Did you ever read about a frog
Who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names
And a few other changes
If you talk about me
The story is the same one
But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried
But it won't let me go
And I'm not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared
For the sound of being alone
"I am"... I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am"... I cried
"I am"... said I
And I am lost and I can't
Even say why
"I am"... I said
"I am"... I cried
"I am"
Songwriters: Neil Diamond
I Am ... I Said lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
I Am (Neil Diamond) by Jessica Lucci
City dwelling suits me
Existing without much worry
Yet I yearn for some other way of being
I don't belong here
I feel torn between
the peace of now
and the despair of what might have been
I am
I tell myself
I exist
I tell no one
I am
I speak out loud
I hear words
I'm the only one
Cinderella
Well I'm not her
Prince Charming?
Not even close
But I feel like I've awoken
from some fairytale
and my dreams are watercolour castles
in a vast countryside
of unknown love
Asleep or awake
it's the same to me
Visions untrue
Wishes unfulfilled
I could float here always
If a ghost kept my spirit company
