Decree from HRM
Decree From Her Royal Majesty, Jessica (Jesse) Lucci of Watch City, regarding the effects of Jesse B of unknown origin, in respect to the Lady Jen H, and her honour, however busty it may be.
Dear Silk City Steampunk and Oddball Newt,
Jessica (Jesse) Lucci of royal blood thusly challenges the mongrel Jesse B to a duel.
Consider my fingerless glove thrown before the man known as Jesse in his quivering step.
Be it known that this matter will heretofore be referred to as the “Duel of two Jesses and a Jen.” Coincidentally, it may also be accurately remonstrated verbally as “The time JB Shot His Eye Out with a Fountain Pen.”
This duel will be consecrated upon the event of 1 February, 2020, the Steampunk Leapyear, at the highly celebrated Stupid Cupid Steampunk Ball 5.
A proper apology on the part of the “gentleman” B may suffice, yet it is doubtful the fool would or could recompense with words what his would-be sword hath damaged.
Begging pardon with a gift of cold drink or hot food may be accepted. If not accepted, Jesse of the B will immediately suffer the drizzling of aforementioned tokens upon his pen. Dignity will be restored once this comes to pass in a timely fashion.
Real pens or any sort of writing utensil may be used, aside from those dreary duplicitous disgustingly colourful plastic crayons. Let’s keep it real, folks. Much ink may be spilled.
If any ink as previously mentioned is spilled as previously mentioned upon Jessica Lucci as previously mentioned, there will be much crying and gnashing of teeth, in which case, the animal B will be wont to pay retribution in the form of dry cleaning bills.
Out of deepest respect for our Silk City and Oddball Newt Steampunk family, it shall be agreed that vital organs must not be aimed at or otherwise struck with any feather tip or Bic. Non vital organs, thusly, are fairest game. For JB, this would include the brain; for JL, the heart.
We may each choose a second; or seconds. These seconds will consist of our Steampunk peers, and they shall act as referees at a Patriots game. Which is to say, they will be blind to the visiting team. (Her Majesty JL is the obvious visitor, although her realm spreads beyond words in worlds of streaming ink).
Yet since she is obviously more skilled and naturally royal, Jesse L shall therefore be allowed double the amount of seconds as Jesse B may choose.
Once the B surrenders, or is vanquished, the duel may end.
Fare thee well.
P.S. Happy New Year!